The following story is extremely weird. It involves a woman becoming wildly, absurdly, grotesquely fat via the application of her own omnipotence. Proceed with caution.
Molly would have happily described herself as a hedonist if she knew the meaning of the word. Her mom and dad described their unemployed twenty-year-old daughter as “a big eater” and “a good heart”. Friends of the family often ended sentences about her with “bless her heart”.
But the most obvious thing about Molly was that she was fat. Massively, undeniably obese. Barely 5′2″ and weighing easily over 350 pounds, Molly was, as one rude high school classmate had said, “big and dumb but sweet”. Between lax teachers and her wealthy and very permissive parents, Molly had made it to adulthood without learning much about the world, outside of how delicious Twinkies were. She spent most of her time parked on her couch, a snack in one hand and cooking shows playing softly on the television.
And this day was like any other: Molly was eating a big bag of potato chips and slurping down a two liter of Coke (Emeril was on TV, a rerun) when she noticed a glass she didn’t remember her mother bringing to her sitting on the coffee table in front of her. It was full to the brim with a thick-looking orange liquid, and as Molly sat forward to investigate, she caught a whiff of the most appetizing scent she had ever imagined.
“This smells delish!” she said, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. “I wonder when mama put it here.” And with one giant gulp, Molly chugged down the entire glass, then sat back to watch Emeril work on his coconut shrimp recipe.
A few minutes passed before Molly was distracted from the television again by a low, loud rumbling noise. She looked around for a moment before she realized, as it rumbled again, that it was coming from her big fat belly. She massaged it with one of her chubby hands. “I hope there wasn’t anything in that drink that’ll make my tummy hurt,” she said, growing slightly concerned and taking another big swig of Coke.
She burped, at first a little one, then a big brassy belch that rattled the windows. “I feel funny…” Molly said, groaning. Her body was very, very warm, and she felt bloated and puffy. Everything around her looked strange, like she could see through it. “What’s happening to me?” She looked around and suddenly understood how, for example, the television worked, how to blow glass, how the house was put together… how her own body worked, how atomic bonds were created and destroyed, what quantum mechanics was.
More and more awareness flooded her, her ascension’s pace increasing as she lay there, supine on the couch, Her vision was overtaken by a vast white light, infinite power and knowledge funneling into her very being. And then, there was a single clear giggle, like a bell ringing out… and she came back to reality.
A moment passed. Emeril had finished making his shrimp and was plating it for a guest to sample. Molly took a deep breath, setting her hefty chest in motion, then let it out in a slow whistle.
“Omnipotence, huh?”
The formerly-brainless twenty-year-old waved her hand, and an enormous crate of Oreos appeared on her coffee table. She snapped her fat fingers.
Into the room burst one of the cheerleaders whom Molly had been unwittingly tormented by for years, although at the time she’d been too dumb and naive to realize it. “Oh, Molly! I’m so sorry! How can I ever make it up to you?”
“Feed me,” Molly said, gesturing to the pile of cookies.
And so it was so.
Molly quickly began to create for herself a pleasure palace that would have made Kubla Khan blush with envy. The massive woman found herself ensconced in a realm where her every desire was instantly met, her every whim catered to. Sure, she could have had all these things through the exertion of her godly powers, but the physical action of delight was where the real pleasure lay. Her weight rapidly ballooned, her powers elongating her body so that her tonnage would have physical space to fit.
Every moment of every day, new delicacies were brought before her from eternally-stocked kitchens. Although her knowledge of the outside world was complete and total, she mostly left it to run to its own devices, merely shaping it so that no one would ever challenge her perpetual pleasure. The nations of the world fell into an uneasy harmony, war and religion abandoned in the face of a goddess who was utterly uninterested in mass worship, merely the pleasures of the flesh.
Soon, she was over a hundred feet tall, her obscene belly the size of a city block, each massive tit as big as an apartment building. She lounged indolently, surrounded by the bloated forms of servants who had pleased her in some way and been allowed to join their goddess in corpulent splendor. Her consumption was at such an industrial scale that it was hard to comprehend; tubes bursting full of what seemed like manna from heaven snaked over her body and constantly flowed into her gaping maw of a mouth. She had eliminated her need to sleep so that she could constantly consume.
One day, she turned a small portion of her consciousness (buried as it was beneath literal tons of flab) to the question of how this had happened to her. She projected her mind back into the past – child’s play for someone like herself – and examined the moment when the glass of orange liquid had appeared before her. Puzzled, she noted that there was nothing that would have caused the creation of the glass, no other entity present to grant her these powers.
Then, in a moment of achronal brilliance, she realized what had happened. Smiling, she manifested the glass and the liquid before her former self, and watched as she drank it, and underwent her transformation. At the moment of ascension, she giggled, and withdrew back to her natural time.
She knew that, at some point, she’d outgrow the earth. But Molly figured that she had at least a hundred thousand years of pure bliss to go before that became a problem.
Story originally posted on assorted-captions.tumblr.com.